In 12 hours you can fly from Hong Kong to Istanbul. You can marinade a chicken breast. You can sit on your sofa and from 9am to 9pm you will have been able to binge watch the entire Star Wars series.

Or: you can walk.

You can set your alarm for 4:30 and set out with flashlights and warm socks. You can traverse through valleys of wildflowers, across cold creek beds, and up and over mountain ridges. You can do it all, filling out that 12 hour block, and still be home for dinner.

Liverpool Hut Tramp: A Timeline

6AM (Begin)
It’s dark, it’s quiet, it’s cold. We’re suited up, departing from the Raspberry Creek car park. (How quaint.)

6:30AM (30 minutes in)
The sky is beginning to lighten. In turn, we are lighthearted as the surrounding glaciers blush with a tint of pink.

7AM (1 hour in)
Cows. Lots of big, beautiful beef. Chasing them through the valleys with my camera. Yee-haw.

7:30AM (1.5 hours in)
Still cows. Add sheep. Can’t stop, won’t stop.

8AM (2 hours in)
We were forced to ford the river. No option to caulk and float. We drag our waterlogged feet onwards towards hut #1. I also start to feel a slight headache approaching.

8:30AM (2.5 hours in)
Aspiring Hut! Our first landmark! We can do this!

9:30AM (3.5 hours in)
I realize my contacts are swirling round in the wrong eyeballs. Quality of the hike much improved after a switcheroo.

10AM (4 hours in)
We’ve reached the base of the mountain. And we’re already exhausted.

11AM (5 hours in)
I hate everyone coming down. Everyone. Especially the couple bedecked in that infernally perky plaid.

11:30AM (5.5 hours in)
I hate the bloke in the bucket hat that overtakes us going UP even more.

12PM (6 hours in)
I’M IN LOVE WITH THE WORLD! LIFE IS WONDERFUL, THE UNIVERSE GRAND! WE’RE AT THE SUMMIT AT THERE’S A RAINBOW! ENDORPHINS ARE COOL! LOOK, THE HUT!

12:30PM (6.5 hours in)
It’s peanut butter jelly time, fool.

1PM (7 hours in)
But I don’t want to leave the warmth and safety of the hut! It’s dry! There’s a puzzle! Quick game of rummy with the cards on the sill? Bucket Hat is actually quite pleasant company!

1:15PM (7.25 hours in)
Fuck. How are we going to get down?

2PM (8 hours in)
Weee! It’s a jungle gym! Let’s slide down on our asses and parkour the rest.

2:30PM (8.5 hours in)
Sea level. Exhaaaale.

4PM (10 hours in)
Water bottle refill at hut #1. A couple of old chaps call us “bloody bastards” when we share with them our route. Siri has already recorded 20 miles.

4:30PM (10.5 hours in)
The cows no longer phase me.
I plow through every creek, resigned to soggy socks.

5PM (11 hours in)
The SHEEP no longer phase me.
I blitzkrieg through every pile of dung, resigned to shit caked shoes.

5:30PM (11.5 hours in)
We stagger. We stumble. “Has someone moved the car park further away while we’ve been hiking?” I’m starting to hallucinate.

5:45PM (11.75 hours in)
Our legs no longer work automatically. We manually lift, every step a struggle, as we lurch towards Paula–our oasis in this desert.

6PM (12 hours in)
i’m in love with the world. life is wonderful, the universe grand. we’re back at the van and there’s a cozy bed to rest upon. hiking is… sort of cool. look, swollen feet and open blisters. heh.

-K

“He’s got a teardrop! That means he’s killed someone!”

^ There’s a waterfall in there. MMMMM.

^Probably one of the single greatest moments of my life. For reference, the starting point to our hike was allll the way down this valley as far as you can see, around the giant mass of mountains to the left.

^Showing off a shirt given to me by one of my coworkers before I left!
^The most scenic john in all the land