I wouldn’t be surprised if I lost 10 pounds on our hike today! It was a great physical exertion and a test of our fitness. Also, we were horribly underprepared with no food and one bottle of water to split for 10 miles.

What started as a jaunt à la “I feel great!” and “My body loves me for this!” turned to drudgery before long, trudging up steep, shit sprinkled hills under an unrelentingly full sun. My dehydrated mind was convinced those seagulls flying peaceably overhead were predators circling our beat brows.

Legs started wobbling a bit on the final peak at mile 5.
Game faces became difficult towards cheerful passersby at around 7.
We were on severe water rations for the last 3 miles, openly cursing every goddamn incline AND decline. (You know you’re in rough shape when it’s easier to go up than down.)

F-ing. Rookies.

Although it wasn’t completely torturous the entire time. I’d hiked a small portion of the Cable Bay Walkway a few years earlier with my BFF, and I was excited to share an experience with Eric that is in my top 5 best of all time. The views were just as splendid as I remembered and it was still a thrill to be hiking across active grazing land with goats, cows, and SHEEP to chase, emulate, and ogle. I’m glad(ish) we did it, but even more pleased we made it out of there alive and in reasonably decent spirits.

For the remainder of the day, we rewarded our toils with a hot $2 shower, a double scoop of gelato, and a couple of steaks from the grocery store. After hanging out with all of those healthy cows today on the hills–“You guys grass-fed, eh? Free range?”–our assumptions proved correct that New Zealand beef is top notch. And after a day like today, never have I felt that I deserved a steak more.

-K

^ A steak and a bottle of wine, of course. 3/10, Old Coach Road.